When I Feel Paralyzed with Fear


Does the news ever just plain terrify you? If I'm being honest, I've really had to limit my exposure to current events throughout my healing process. I no longer actively seek to keep up with everything going on, because it straight up ruins my ability to enjoy my children and the life we have together. But in today's world of social media, sometimes the news can't be avoided.

So, as someone recovering from Post Traumatic Stress that triggered debilitating anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (specifically an obsession/phobia of chemicals), you can imagine my initial reaction to the recent uproar about the herbicide Roundup being everywhere and in everything. Even though none of it was actually news to me (this is all stuff I found in my rabbithole of research a couple of years back), it had the potential to really trigger my panic.

Why does the world have to be so scary? Why are we as humans doing things that make it that way, instead of taking care of it like the precious gift it is?  And then, why did I bring babies into it when they will probably just get sick or hurt or both?

Stop, Jordan. Take a deep breath. Let it go.  Think about what you can actually do.

Because doing what I can with what I know is all I can ask of myself, right?

Eat clean, organic food as often as possible. Check. Use nontoxic cleaning and bodycare products at home. Check. Sleep on organic bedding. Check. 

And then, because of my persistent personality: Call local government and ask what they spray at the parks where our babies play. When they answer, "Roundup," ask them if they would consider something safer. Tell them you are certain other mamas would ask the same thing. Check.

Ask other mamas (and human beings in general) to come alongside you in requesting change. Here I am now.

There are cities around the country that have gone spray free because a group of passionate people asked for safer public spaces. Want to know more? If you are in NWA, don't hesitate to reach out to me. No matter where you are, you can call your city parks department and ask for change. 

We are all in this together <3