Evening Letdown

Fifteen months in we know our dance by heart.
I no longer have to watch you latch, to support your head,
and most days I forget how the pain ripped me apart this time last year.
Because now you crawl onto my lap and are part of me again.
In these moments you're back in my womb,
the trauma from our first months is erased
and I'm just giving myself to you without thinking.
Like when my heart kept your tiny heart beating,
I let down out of uncontrollable love.

And it feeds both of us, relieves both of us
as I imagine both the soil and the flower feel
after an overdue spring rain.