My child hasn't been getting enough to eat, and I didn't know it. When I suspected it months ago, they told me I was wrong. I believed them, and she went on to eat too little. She went on to be poked by strangers every day of the week, tested for all kinds of scary things.
I feel sick.
She wanted to eat all the time. She cried while nursing. She cried most of the day and wouldn't take naps. She was hungry, and I doubted myself.
Please forgive me, Lord, for failing my baby. Please forgive me, sweet Edie, for not knowing. For taking four months to feed you well.
I feel sick. And so, so angry.